Do you want to leave?
by BritishAlien
Summary: When regeneration hits, we always see the struggle to adapt. This is the story of Twelve and Amy...Part One of Two...


Hello there! I've just wondered when the new Doctor has asked the companion 'Do you want to leave?' they've never taken him up on the offer. Here is a take on what might happen. Part One of Two. Enjoy! Thank you xxx 12th Doctor/Amy XD One shot, had to get this out of my head. xxx

-x-x-x-

Her imaginary friend, whom she'd travelled with for many years now, had vanished before her eyes. It hadn't been fair. She didn't even get to say goodbye. After the explosion, she'd found him under the rubble. Life nearly extinct. She'd held his hand, but he had not returned to consciousness and instead had melted away in front of her. His features dissolving into those of another man. A man she no longer knew.

He stared at her blankly. Recognition lay somewhere within his bright eyes. They searched her face, as if the answer to life's ultimate question lay somewhere on its surface. His face creased as he failed to find what he was looking for. He looked down to where Amy's hand still lay solemnly in his own. He withdrew quickly, as if Amy's touch was poison. He pushed himself up from the floor, staggering slightly. Dusted himself down and looked out on the vast expanse of earth he now stood in front of. His face fell at the devastation he had caused. Not only for the moment, but permanently. He gave Amy one quick look and nodded his head in the direction of the TARDIS, which stood alone in the wasteland.

On entering the TARDIS, the new Doctor's face rose slightly. The relative familiar control room seemed to welcome this new man in with open arms. Amy was still not too sure. She knew of regeneration of course. The first night she'd met him, the Doctor had been in the grasp of change and renewal. But she'd never imagined it being as horrific as she'd seen. His features had contorted and twisted until everything she loved about him had seemingly disappeared. His hair had receded back into the scalp and thinned into a boring sensible brown cut. Indeed, the whole look of the Doctor had mellowed. All that was left was the clothes that dwarfed this new man. They were far too large for him. To momentarily combat these problems, he had removed the tweed jacket, rolled up his sleeves and discarded the overly large boots.

Amy closed the door behind her and watched as the Doctor, well the new Doctor, leapt around the console flicking switches and pulling levers. And with a final flourish, the TARDIS zoomed away from the battlefield.

-x-x-x-

Since then the Doctor had been quiet towards her. Hardly speaking and when he did, it was only if necessary. They had stayed in the time vortex for a little longer than Amy had expected, but it didn't feel right ordering the Doctor to get his act together. She needed to talk to him. Something was bugging her.

She walked up the steps to the main console itself. If she'd learnt anything from her travels with the Doctor, it was to always make certain. He acknowledged her entrance with a wry smile and continued with his work on the TARDIS. She tried getting closer to the little man, but every time she tried, he would prance around to the other side of the room. After a while, he decided to draw this game of cat and mouse to an end.

'Amy! A little room to breathe wouldn't go amiss. Thank you.' He shrugged her off. Nervous of her coming closer to him.

'Doctor?' He nodded. 'Talk to me.'

'I beg your pardon?'

'Talk to me! Since the regeneration, you seem like you've locked yourself away in your own little world. All I want to do is help so that everything can get back to normal! Let me in!' She implored. The Doctor smirked at the TARDIS console, summing up her words. He needed to tell her the truth. He had meant to for so long now, but he couldn't bring himself to do so.

'Alright. Maybe I need to explain…' The Doctor walked around to the main staircase in the console room and sat on the top step. Inviting Amy to join him. The height difference was now overwhelmingly noticeable. Before, Amy had been taller than him, but now she towered above him like a giraffe. 'During regeneration, it's not just looks that alter. It's the personality and indeed the person themself who differs. Now I can't remember much about our previous life together and I don't know what it contained feelings-wise, but I have to tell you anything I may have held for you no longer exist. As far as I'm concerned. Sorry..' This hit Amy harder than it should've. She never thought she would hear the Doctor utter those words. Especially not to her. The link they had shared had been closely woven. Especially, as for her, this link had lasted from the tender age of seven. She did not…was not going to let them drift apart for this.

'You wouldn't say that. The Doctor wouldn't say that. He might think it, yeah. He thinks a lot of things without telling me, but that! Why did you feel the need?' She winced as the Doctor's merciful gaze bore into her very soul.

'I was scared that you'd….'

'That I'd do what?' Amy enquired.

'I don't know. I still care for you as a friend. You mean the world to me. Things like that never change. I wouldn't be here without you, but…if there was ever anything between us, then I'd prefer it to remain in that life. With him.' He insisted. For a moment, his eyes seemed so cold and empty. Cracked. Amy looked into them. Once upon a time she'd have fallen into those eyes. They'd gobble her up and let her swim in their richness, but not this time. She had known that the friendship that she and the Doctor had shared, had bordered on the flirty side, but that was half the fun! Did she really want to be tied down to this kind of rejection? It was Rory all over again….'I promise you, it isn't your fault, Amy. It's just me being stubborn. I don't want to be drawn into that realm. It hurts too much when I lose the one I…' Amy's eyebrows lifted. 'The one I love. And no, I'm not frightened to say that. I truly believe that i…he loved you. More than you could truly imagine, but I can't let that happen again. It happened before and I lost that person. I don't want to….can't lose you. So I'd prefer it if we were to remain as friends. Is that alright?' Amy shook her head. 'Do you want to leave?'

-x-x-x-

Thank you so much for reading xxx


End file.
